Hi friends and lovers(?),

Allow me to regale you with the story of NoobWoWPlayer’s Tumblr raid as seen by Hunderp the Hunter.

A story of love, victory, sadness and loss.

All was good in the life of Hunderp, he was super awesome and super handsome, with many friends.

Himself and the Noob WoW Player crew (Hereafter referred to as NWP) decided after raping and pillaging both Northshire and Goldshire it was time to take this party to Orgrimmar!

So, we ran to Stormwind, hopped the boat towards Darnassus and flew to Darkshore.

Then began our long trek through Ashenvale to the Barrens!

Along the way we encountered a couple fierce tigers whom I slayed with my mighty cock crossbow.

Here I am ejaculating celebrating.

We persevered and though our fearless leader, NWP, was attacked and slain by a foul beast, we regrouped and carried on. (Unfortunately I was too distraught to capture this event)

We had made it to The Barrens! We are so close!

All seemed to be going so well, and then I saw her.

I will never forget that smooth green skin and those auburn pigtails bouncing toward us.

She must have been posessed because she managed to resist my good looks and sexual charm with nothing but murderous intent in her fiery eyes.

The slaughter had begun and I was given no choice but to flee, her powerful thighs and bountiful breasts were too much woman for I.

I watched many comrades fall as they fled this sexual killing machine.

I made it to the river, began to swim, even made it to our safe point on the rocky shore, but she had marked me. I was always in her sights. It had to be my giant bulge. Had to.

Anyway, she caught up to me. And the camp.

Few were spared the vicious onslaught of this buxom, green-skinned, lusty warmaiden.

We managed to cure our mild cases of death though and we regrouped. No one can stop Tumblr right? No. We were going to make it to Orgrimmar.

(Dat Hammerass)

We had regrouped at our “safe” point and decided to make our final charge.

It was now or never and we were planning on showing those Orgrimmar punks what was what and who was who and where was when!

War cries were made to rally the troops. Failed attempts at flirting and blog spamming times were over, it was time for war and we. Were. Bringing. It.

We were so close to the gates of Org when I first spotted him. He came running over a nearby hill like silk through shadows. It was almost as though he were expecting us.

Our mortal enemy, not Garrosh, but a simple pawn of the horde named Polter.

Polter. That motherfucker.

We all knew it was coming. This thing barely looked at us before engaging his murderous rampage.

Dying did not hurt, what did hurt was dying at the hands of someone other than my betrothed Orcish beauty.

None were spared.

Even a pig got in on the Alliance-killing action. Look at that smug motherfucker. What a cunt.

Donkeypunchs made a brave attempt at retreating for reinforcements, he was not heard from again and is presumed dead.

Rest in peace, brave knight. May all the bitches in the greater beyond be down for being struck in the back of the head while viciously being pounded doggy by you.

Once again, we managed to recover from our more severe cases of death and regroup.

It appeared we had reached a peace treaty with the Horde.

All seemed quite well… Too well. I, Hunderp, did not trust our new Horde brethren.

My suspicions were confirmed true all too soon.

Too right, Ralkykins, what. A. Dickle.

We were not to recover from this final death.

The few heroes heroic enough to have their bodies join their souls in the after-realm joined together for a short party.

There’s me and our beloved hero, NWP.

I love you, NWP. A lot. Though I deny all allegations of certain “services” being rendered to you by myself at the time of our arranged group photo.

Thank you everyone, for this experience. I love you all. We will succeed next time.

(Source: troyfm)